Shop Grrls

Monday, May 01, 2006

Squirrel: Anime Con Rules

Dear Anime Loving Customers,
Thank you for visiting our booth. We now have a whole new set of convention rules, just for you.

1) The table in front of me is covered in jewelry. The table next to me is covered in plushies. If I knew how much the plushies cost, I'd be standing behind the plushies table, not sitting behind the jewelry with a lap full of beads. Quit asking.

2) The plushies don't have price tags, but all of the jewelry does. At least make the effort to pick up the jewelry and look at the price tag.

3) You have picked up a necklace made of sterling silver, Swarovski crystals, and pearls. It is very pretty, very sparkly, and very expensive. It in no way represents the price of anything else on the table. Don't bitch about how expensive my products are unless you've looked at the whole table. At least then I'll know that you're complaining because you're a cheap twit, as opposed to just a twit.

4) Please do not glomp the plushies. Especially if said plushie happens to be laying next to the 3 1/2 foot high jewelry display that is towering over my head.

5) There is only so much high pitched squealing we can take in a single convention. For the love of god, lose your voice already and get it over with.

6) If you must have a high pitched conversation about how cool something is, please don't do it directly in front of our booth. You may have spent all of your money on Ramune and plushies, but there are other people with more money who might spend it on the sparklies your poorly cosplayed ass is blocking.

7) All rules for costuming apply double to jail bait. Points for effort. Negative points for excessive display of underage cleavage, ass cheek, or "strategically" placed mesh. I know your mother didn't let you leave the house like that. And for the "Daddy" following his skimpily dressed daughter and her friends around.... Ew.

8) STOP. SHAKING. THE RAMUNE. BOTTLES.

9) If you must bad mouth the products, at least have the courtesy to do it away from the table.

10) Using air quotes around "one of a kind" when talking about the hairsticks I spent four days on will cause me to leap across the table and strangle me a CatGirl. Consider this your warning.

11) Idiots who stab their toes on the escalators because they are running around barefoot will be laughed at. Idiots who get their skirts caught in said escalators because they're too dumb to hitch up their masses of fabric will also be laughed at.

12) Idiots who sit their asses down in the middle of the hallway will be stepped on. Especially if I'm carrying 50 pounds of gear, or trying to get to the bathroom. Never get between a woman and the bathroom.

13) Please do not ask to read my shirt when I am carrying 50 pounds of gear.

So no shit, there I was, making jewelry behind the table. This group of girls comes up and notices that one of the charm bins is labeled "50 cents." This particular bin is all pewter and tin charms. They start pawing through the bins with sterling charms as well. One of them repeatedly picks up charms from the sterling bins (Clearly labeled with higher prices) and talks to her friends about them as if they were all 50 cents. I noticed her doing this, and got A Feeling. This kid was going to try to claim that the charm she decided on had come out of the 50 cent bin. Sure enough, she hands me a dollar bill and says "50 cents?" I notice that the charm in her hand is considerably brighter than a pewter charm, and much thicker then a tin one. I ask to see it. She hands it over. I tell her that it's $2, not 50 cents. At this point she pouts a little and claims she got it out of the 50 cent bin. As if I'm some huge coropation who has to honor the price on the "shelf," and am so stupid as to have completely missed her telling her friends that the charms in the other bins were 50 cents. On the minus side, she didn't pony up the extra buck. On the plus side, she's well on her way to a career of petty theft.

One guy was actually very sweet about wanting to buy something for his mom. Sadly, he realized that he didn't have enough money to buy her the necklace he wanted, but he did manage to scrounge enough for a pair of earrings. Maybe next time he'll have enough for the necklace.

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